Nightmare at the Mall

As the school year draws to a close, the kids have gotten crazier and CRAZIER! Can you say ENERGY times 10?! Needless to say, when my cute cousin Melissa invited me to meet her for a quiet dinner at the Fashion Place Mall last night, I was overjoyed! I was very excited to have a relaxing evening with some stimulating cousin conversation. I hoped this would calm down my nerves from all the hectic end-of-year stuff going on. We met up at the Nordstrom Café. Have you been there? It is an incredibly cute little Bistro/Café. They have pizzas, sandwiches, soups and salads. They also serve baked French fries with incredible dipping sauce! You know me and French fries! Can't resist! The evening was quiet and peaceful. It was exactly what I had hoped for. We talked and laughed and caught up on all the family gossip. Good times.

Melissa asked if I'd like to look around the mall with her for a little while. Pourquoi pas? We walked past all the brightly-decorated mannequins and shop windows. Everything was happy and summmer-y. I was smiling and enjoying the lightly-playing mall music. As we turned one corner, a hippie-looking man with a huge beard walked right into our path. "Herbal Tea?" he asked, right in my face. Before waiting for an answer, he poured us two mini sample cups. I smiled and tried to push it away, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. Melissa tasted it and didn't look convinced. He had out another sample of Chai tea before she could say a word. "Chai Tea, then?" She sipped on that one and still wasn't sold. He then grabbed her arm and walked her into his shop. I followed. "This is the most rare and healthy tea in the world!" he exclaimed. I rolled my eyes. "It will help with digestion, teeth, hair, skin, weight loss, energy and vitality!" What a miracle tea! What doesn't this tea do? He put the tea in her hand and tried to get her to buy. Melissa started looking nervous and said, "We have to do some more shopping, but we will come back." We turned around and walked out. Huge sigh of relief!

We had no sooner started on our path again when a lady, covered in silk shawls, pulled into our view. She grabbed one of each of our hands. "Oooh, sisters!" she said in her thick Israeli accent. I pulled back. I actually have nightmares from these people. About two years ago, I was conned into buying some of their $250 eye cream. Don't ask me how they did it, but they did!!! I left with the sack of product that I didn't want, a dazed look on my face, and a bill for $250 that was nonrefundable and nonexchangeable. This lady grabbed harder as I pulled back. "You will love my hand cream!" she exclaimed with delight! Oh no! Oh no! I wrenched my hand out of her grasp. "No thank you, ma'am," I said. "I already bought some of this stuff." She held onto Melissa's arm and led her to the kiosk. I stood back. You think she would have spent her energy, focusing on Melissa. After all, she was the one, willing to go through with this forced sampling. Instead, the Israeili woman just glared at me. "When you use our product?" she asked. I looked wherever I could--anywhere to avoid her gaze. "Uhhh....a few years back, I guess," I mumbled. "Sorry!" she retorted. "This cream just arrive FRIDAY!" Whoa, lady! Are you really trying to make a sale by yelling at the person who has ZERO interest, while rubbing your sea cream into her cousin's arm?! Bad move, lady! Melissa looked down, trying to hide her giggles. Was this really happening?! This lady wouldn't drop her angry glare in my direction. Finally, Melissa decided that she had had enough herself. She pulled her arm away and said, "Thank you. We have to go." The lady looked stunned. Hooray! Get me out of that stressful situation. I was ready to go home.


I tell you, I think I'll take a room full of 40 teenagers with spring fever over that Israeli woman at the kiosk!!!